Part 5: Saaaaaaaaaaaandstorm

Okay! Okay. I think it's stopped.

AAAAAAAAAAAAA

Get ahold of yourself, dude!

Sorry.

So, like, where are we now?

Ki said this was the Nexus of Realities. If we go through this door, we can probably visit other worlds!








I dunno why they put the doors in these little vine things. Seems kinda silly, if you ask me.

I heard a story from Mr. S about Yggdrasil—the World Tree. It's supposed to connect different worlds together. I wonder if these are its branches?

Seems reasonable.

What? No it doesn't! That's just, like, a fairy tale!

If the other choice is "we built dimensional portals into a beanstalk for no reason," yeah, I'm gonna go with Zero.




Stepping on the colored panel inside the Pillar of Sky will whisk you away to this "outer space" location. The various vines lead to different worlds. You'll never see more than two in a section, so you don't need to worry about getting lost. Also, there's no enemies up here. It's a nice place to catch your breath, admire the scenery, and wonder what the hell the game's going to throw at you next.













Ooh, another door!

Bzzt. Access denied.

What? Why?

Protection lock engaged. Magi power insufficient to pass.





They lock you out if you don't have magi?

That doesn't make any sense. Why would you need magi to visit other places? Doesn't that encourage people to hoard them and take over worlds?

Only the strong survive!

Not really proving me wrong here.

Either way, looks like a no-go until we have more magi. Let's see what's downstairs!





I hate this part





Woo! Kinda fun once you get used to it.



Oh, that's attractive.

Zero? You alright, buddy?

I GET MOTION SICKNESS OKAY










Ugh. It's like a million degrees out here.

You're not the one with metal skin. I can feel my insides baking.

Well, someone should've come prepared.



How about you, Sara? Holding up okay?

Oh, I'm fine! I bought sunscreen back in North Town.

Why would you buy sunscreen ahead of time? That doesn't make any sense!

Hey, as long as she's not drinking it!

...

You're... you're not drinking it. Right?

_{maybe a little}










Wow. This place is a dump.

Ehn. As far as wretched hives of scum and villainy go, it's not too bad.

We should at least find out where we are. Excuse me! We're not from around here.

Heh. Do tell.

Can you tell us the name of this town?





You did not just say "scamps."

I did! And I'd do it again! No rules, no masters, baby.

I wouldn't call her "baby" if you like having your hands on your wrists.

Wow. Hot.

ha ha no seriously I'll gut you like a trout.







The prophecy was right! Score one for Ki.

Pff. Just a lucky guess.





How do you even know that if it's hidden?

Open secret!

Touché, my igneous friend.







I dunno, it's not too bad here. Most of the people leave you alone, lots of sun, you can go indoors to cool off if you want...

Look! An eagle!

Wow! I've never seen one up close before.

A little too close. Shouldn't it be going back up by now, or—





AAAAAAAAAAAAH




Desert Town is a madhouse. You can and will get jumped by enemies—even if you're just here to shop and recharge your HP. It's actually a good place to grind if you need to catch up, but it's such a pain to have to buy things here. Our best bet is to cleanse everything with Fire (and Blizzard) and not worry too much about leveling within city limits. After we're done torching everything, we can stop by the inn for a quick recharge and head out ASAP.







AAH AAH RUUUUUUUUUUN

HELP THEY'RE TRYING TO PECK OUT MY EYES

THEY'RE ATTRACTED TO SARA'S SUNSCREEN GET RID OF THE SUNSCREEN

I CAN'T DRINK ALL OF IT THAT FAST








*slam*

*pant* *pant*

Okay. Okay! We're safe, guys.

Wait! Where's Heather?!





This eagle jerky is great! Soooo high in protein.

Oh.







doot dee doot dee doot-dee doo Hey let's pester the locals!

















You guys have no clue where it is, do you?


_{maybe a little}





...anymore.

Well that sounds like the coolest thing ever. Wonder where they all went?

Bermuda.

Seriously?

No! Why would I know where they went? You pesky kids, always asking everyone questions! I swear, back in my day I grumble grumble grumble respect for the grumble





Kind of pricey for an iced coffee.

Not for me! I have a reward on my gold card!

Yeah, we don't accept those here.



Deep breaths, Heather. We'll take a round for everybody, sir. We probably need the fluids anyway.

Hey, you kids are alright. Let me tell you a little secret.





...of town. You'll see a cactus. Head south from there, and you'll get to Tower City. Ashura's tower is right next door.

Wow, thanks! But why would you tell us that?

I Used to hang with Ashura before he made the big time. But you know how it is with celebrities... went straight to his heads, and we haven't talked since. Way I figure it, I don't owe him any secrecy.

Isn't it dangerous to be that close to Ashura's base?

Compared to this hellhole? It's utopia. The only area that's really dangerous is the tower itself, and no one's stupid enough to go in there.

Not yet, anyway!

Zero...







Sandstorm's up ahead. We probably won't be able to see much.

Ew. This is going to be so gross.

Maybe it won't be so bad. Think of it as a free facial scrub.

What would you know about that?

Just because I was raised by a gasoline-swilling cult doesn't mean I don't know what cosmetics are!





gak

Hmm. Alright, here's the cactus.

What?

I said, here's the cactus!

This wind is awful! I can barely hear you over it!

Now we just go... uh... was it east?

What?

I said, was it east? I forgot.

No, we're totally going west! East is the other way!

Oh, west! Thanks, Heather!

WHAT?





Okay, now we go, uh, south, and...











Guys, I've got some bad news. I think we may be lost.

augh I got sand in my mouth help

Oh, don't be such a baby. Everything's fi—





whoosh

MY HAT

I'LL KILL YOU





The hat giveth, and the hat taketh away.

Now do you see why I don't trust those things?!




As in all RPGs, the bartender knows what's up. Buy a drink, and he'll tell you where to find Ashura's tower. Unfortunately, his directions are of the "go up six or twelve lights and then turn left at the thing, you know the one" variety. I swear I follow his directions, I even write them down ahead of time, and each time I fall into a jet stream and get lost. Cue wandering around for three or four minutes before I finally stumble onto my destination by accident.

Meanwhile, some noticiably more powerful enemies are kicking my guys in the collective junk. We've already seen flowers, which have a couple of "meh" attacks and a weakness against ice. You will also find such luminaries as...





Pebbles have good defense and a few elemental immunities. Werewolves aren't as bad as in FFL1 (thank gods), but they still hit hard and fast. Plus, they've picked up a new trick this time around: they regenerate! After each round concludes, they get a little bit of HP back. We can outpace these guys pretty easily, but later on, we'll have to concentrate fire to take down their big brothers. Fortunately, regen will never be used by bosses because of the inherent hahahahaha it's totally going to be used by multiple bosses.





Eagles and barracudas really aren't that big of a deal, although the Eagle's beak attack can hit pretty hard if your defense isn't up to snuff. Slimes are bad news right now. Dissolve hits hard and cuts right through armor (and restores their HP). Fire still ruins their shit, so do that as soon as possible.





Troopers are the first of the "knight" family of enemies. They're considered humanoids and thus don't drop meat, as Nintendo's Standards and Practices are only okay with non-human cannibalism. They have middling sword strikes as attacks, but their most obnoxious ability is activating a shield and blocking all of our attacks for that round. It's doubly obnoxious because these guys don't care about wasting weapon uses on our shields; they'll all be dead by the end of combat. We, on the other hand, have to buy new weapons after whacking them repeatedly against their armor. It's kind of unfair.










Well, that was really awful.

I have sand in places I didn't even know I had places and I don't know how to get it out

Woah. You guys made it all the way out here? I'm impressed.

Thanks! So, this is Tower City, huh? How do you guys feel about living in the shadow of Ashura?

Honestly? Guy's a tool.

That's pretty honest, yeah.

All this "Ashura" crap is completely made up. Some local goblin got ahold of a ton of magi and became a creature with...





So he's not really that powerful?

Oh no. He'll straight up rip off your face and feed it to your friends.

That was unnecessarily graphic.




Tower City—a name which I totally did not make up on the spot I did—is neat in that the environment actually acknowledges the raging sandstorm outside. The background moves as if wind were blowing over it, and certain areas of town are cordoned off by sand clouds. That inn over there? It's not really half-complete. Just walk on over, and the rest of it will pop into view. This can be a bit disconcerning if you're unobservant and/or forgetful. It wasn't until a pebble casually strolled out of nowhere that I realized what was going on.







Four different people, actually.

Though to be fair, only one of them was right.





He's toast.

Totally.





Hahahahaha that guy? No he's dead as heck





WHAT

WHAT

Not now, Sara. You said he went into the tower? He got caught?!

Yeah. But, like you said, he's probably dead, or—

Forget what I said, that's before I was related to him! We need to gear up and get in there!

Hahahahaha we're dead as heck




As Roy mentions, we've got a fairly hefty amount of gold and new gear is available, so I decide to put it to good use. We pick up a few odds and ends that I'll show off in due time.

We also rejigger our magi lineup a bit. Being single-minded is usually a good thing in RPGs (so long as you maintain party balance!), so we stick each of our guys with their bread-and-butter magi. Roy gets Defense, Heather gets Power, and Zero gets Mana. Sara, meanwhile, gets the Fire magi. This works as an elemental buff; you boost the damage on your fire spells while giving yourself O-Fire. As far as I know, you don't get X-Ice from equipping it, either. What a deal!







Roy, we don't even know if it's him! There's a lot of hats in the world!

_{Too many, if you ask me}

The guy was wearing a hat. We know Dad was after magi. Ashura has all the magi. This is not complicated, people!








*huff* *huff* Slow down a sec!

Dad! Daaaaaaaaaaaaaad

*tackle*





Stop being a spaz! The're still monsters in here!




Slimes we've gone over, but zombies aren't fun, either. They're fairly resilient and have a tendency to dog pile a single character with their attacks. Fortunately, they're also weak against fire. However, as stated previously, I'd rather not rely on Sara and Zero to win all our fights for us.










Ashura has a lot of goons, doesn't he?

No prob. That's why we bought new weapons!

Eat taser, chumps!





Man, what a ripoff.




The StunGun seemed like a good idea at the time, but it turns out it's terrible. It only works on a single enemy, and the hit rate is laughable. At least it boosts Roy's agility. That's something.









How are you guys holding up back there?

I'm exhausted. Pyrokinesis isn't exactly light work.

Yeah. I don't know if we can keep this up, Roy.

Just hang in there! We're making progress!








Oh hey, here's a welcome surprise. I bet Ashura's guards have all the good treasure!





INTRUDER ALERT, INTRUDER ALERT





And also the good traps.

Oopsie.




This actually isn't a fixed encounter, it's just conveniently timed.

Red bones have a punch attack and are laughable. Octopi, less so, but they're still not going to ruin us on their own. After we're done raining down fire and ice upon them, we pick up a Saber for our troubles. It's a nice upgrade to rapiers that's somewhat expensive right now, so we'll save it for Ashura.

You'll also notice that's no less than nine enemies we're facing. Crowd control is incredibly important in FFL2, way more than in the previous game. You can get swarmed by up to 27 monsters if the game's feeling particularly nasty. Our magic users can keep it contained as long as they can act early, but we're going to need some backup really soon, or it's gonna get ugly.












And by really soon, I mean right now.




Alright, I've got one more spell left in—











OW OW OW OW OW

Get back! Ithim an úll!













crap crap crap CRAP CRAP CRAP








You guys okay?

<sub>nnfnfffg. I can taste my liver

You get used to it after a while</sub>




Snakes have high agility. Like, disturbingly high agility. The only way we can beat them on the draw consistently is to hook a Speed magi on one of our magic users—but then, we have to give up the extra elemental boost, and that means a one-shot isn't guaranteed. As you can see, snakes also hit very hard. (Also, I swear the zombie's nail attack is armor piercing somehow, because they're managing to get through Roy's defenses when he doesn't have his shield up. It's just little shots of 20 damage or so, but it piles up.)

Add it all up, and we are seriously in over our heads.




Get up! We have to keep going!

Roy. Roy! We can't make it up the tower like this.

I'm not gonna leave my dad here!

Look, I am totally down with dying with you in combat, but they're going to call us weenies in Valhalla if it ends here. We need to regroup!

Daaaaaaaaaaad!

Roy. We'll come back. We'll get him out of here.

*sniff*

He can handle himself. I know he can.

How do you know that?

We've seen his kid fight, homie. Apple doesn't fall far from the tree.







Ugh. Well, at least we made it out.

And just in time. We're fresh out of healing potions.

What now?

Our skillsets are totally lame. We need to start over from the beginning.

Guess we're going back to our world for a bit.

I'll come back for you, dad. I promise!




Next Time: (Re)Boot Camp